A Mordor Halloween
by thule222
Summary: Yet another Halloween. This time a Lord of the Rings cross.


The new costume shop was crowded with people. Buffy and Willow were going wild over a fancy costume dress. Willow had already picked out her ghost outfit, and Buffy had zeroed in on something she thought Angel would like.

Xander was on a quest for a $2.00 costume. He looked at the toy gun selection but little children swarmed about it. His eyes moved past it to the costume jewelry section. A big and garish cheap looking gold colored ring stood there. He picked it up. The price tag read $1.59. Inspiration struck.

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Later that day, Buffy opened her door and looked at Xander. "What on earth are you supposed to be?" she asked.

Xander was dressed all in black clothes. He'd spray painted a big eye on his shirt in red florescent paint. Crudely painted flames surrounded the eye. "I'm the Dark Lord Sauron," he grinned. "Check out the red eye."

"Xander that is the stupidest costume I've ever seen," Buffy said.

Xander held up his hand and showed her the garish gold ring. "Talk to the ring," he said.

Willow came down the stairs in her ghost costume.

"Hi Casper," Buffy sighed.

"That's a mighty fine boo you have there, Wills," Xander smiled.

"Oh, Xander, you're Sauron," Willow said.

"See, Willow gets it," Xander said. Buffy shook her head.

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Later, "Showtime!" Ethan Rayne said. A wind blew over Sunnydale, and everyone changed.

Willow staggered to her feet. She looked down at her body. "I'm a real ghost," she squeaked. She looked around; Buffy was walking down the street with a lost look on her face. "Buffy, are you all right?"

"That is not my name," Lady Buffy said. "What is this strange place?"

"I don't get this. You don't know who you are?" Willow asked. She looked down the street in confusion. Little monsters swarmed everywhere, attacking people. Around the corner, a reddish glow approached. "What's that?" Willow asked.

Lady Buffy shuddered, "I have a sudden foreboding," she said.

Around the corner floated a giant red eyeball, at least six feet in diameter and surrounded by crackling red flames. The eyeball floated down the center of the street and the little monsters all followed after it, bowing and wailing to it. "What on earth?" Willow said. Lady Buffy fainted.

The eyeball seemed to orient on Willow, blazing brighter, it slowly moved towards her. Willow, a powerful thought seemed to think at her.

"Xander," she said. "Oh my god. Is this telepathy? Ohmygodwhatsgoingonyou'reallglowyandabigeye," she said.

Across the street Cordelia screamed and ran towards them as a Sasquacht chased after her. The blazing eye turned towards her. A streak of flame shot from the eye and blasted the ground beneath the Sasquatch's feet, sending it sprawling. Cordelia screamed even louder and fled towards Willow.

"Oh god, Willow what's going on? Aaah, big eye, big eye," Cordelia waved her arms in the air at the giant eyeball.

"The eye's Xander I think," Willow said. "Everyone's becoming their costumes. Help me get Buffy inside." She reached for Buffy and sighed as her hand passed through the girl. Cordelia stooped and helped Lady Buffy to her feet. The three of them headed for the Summers residence. The giant eye moved slowly to follow them.

"Uh, not you Xander," Willow smiled nervously. "It might be best for you to stay out here."

"Yeah, get lost weirdo," Cordelia explained. "What?" she looked at Willow. She turned back to the eye. "You're a big flaming eyeball," she said. "Just take your weirdness elsewhere."

Willow the giant eye thought. It seemed angry.

"A demon!" screamed Lady Buffy.

"Not helping, Cordy," Willow said. "Uh, just stay put Xander. We'll figure out stuff, you stay here and heh, heh, keep an eye on things." The eye flamed more brightly but stopped. Willow led Cordelia and Lady Buffy into the Summers house. The trio walked around in shock.

Lady Buffy picked up a photograph. "This might be me," she said wonderingly.

"It is you," Willow said.

"No! I would never wear such low apparel. I hate this place. I want to go home!"

"Check it out," Cordelia said; peering out the front window, "they're all worshipping Xander." Willow looked outside. All the goblins and devils had built a bonfire in the middle of the street. The flaming eye was floating over it, and the little monsters were circling it, dancing and bowing to it, wailing and chanting.

"Oh, this can't be good," Willow said. On the plus side, the monsters had left off terrorizing the town to pursue their Xander worship.

Angel burst in the back way. "Hi, guys," he said. "Did you know that monsters are worshipping a giant flaming eyeball out in front of the house?"

"Good sir, you must protect me," Lady Buffy said, clutching at him.

"Yeah, it's Xander," Cordy said, still peering out the window. "He's like the freak king or something,"

"Angel, good," Willow said. "You stay here and protect Buffy and Cordy. I'll go see Giles." At his questioning glance, she explained how they had all turned into their costumes.

"Don't listen to her lies," Lady Buffy pleaded. "My father will reward you if you bring me safely back to his mansion."

"Uh, yeah," Angel said. "Okay, Willow, I'll watch while you go see Giles."

"Ooo, check out the new hotties," Cordelia said from the front window. Angel and Willow looked out with her. A blond man and a woman with long dark hair were facing the flaming eye and talking to it. The woman knelt before the eye while the blond man shouted at it.

"Spike and Dru," Angel said. Willow looked at him questioningly. "Vampires," he said shortly. Lady Buffy gasped.

Outside the blond man shook his fist at the eye and made to strike it. He seemed to explode into flames. "Cool," Angel chuckled, "Xander set Spike on fire." The dark haired woman seemed to be speaking to the eye as the blond vampire writhed in the flames.

"Okay," Willow said "I'm going, you all stay put and stay away from Xander," the others seemed glued to the front window. Willow sighed and walked out through the walls.

Outside the monsters were still chanting at the Xander eye. The blond vampire had stopped burning but was mutating, twisting fantastically. Willow stopped, appalled and unable to look away. The vampire, Spike, finally evolved into a centauroid form. His top half remained human but his bottom half was that of a giant toad.

"Thank you for your mercy, dread lord," Drusilla said, curtsying deeply to the eye. She turned to Spike who was moaning in pain. "It's your own fault, Spikey; you failed to show the Eye proper respect." Spike waved a webbed foot in misery.

Willow tore herself away from the scene and moved off. Willow a thought pushed deeply into her head. She turned and looked at the Xander eye that was staring at her.

"Hi Xan," she smiled.

Willow, it is time for you to become my dark bride the eye thought.

"Bride?" Willow said. "Uh, why don't you all stay here and wait from me to get back. 'kay?" She nodded and moved off.

"Why does she get to be the dark bride?" Drusilla pouted, glaring at the retreating Willow."

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"And Xander actually turned into a giant flaming eyeball?" Giles asked. Willow nodded. "And Cordelia turned into a cat creature?"

"Actually no," Willow said. "She was normal, just in a cat suit. Hey, she got her costume at Party Town. The rest of us got ours at that new place, Ethan's."

"Ethan's," Giles said darkly. "Take me to this Ethan's, Willow."

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"This is great," Angel laughed. "He turned Spike into a frog."

"I take it you don't like this Spike," Cordelia said.

"He's not my favorite person," Angel said. "Oh, look, Dru's going to ride Spike like a pony." Outside, the dark haired vampire had climbed onto Spike's frog back and was urging him forward. The flaming eye had turned away from the house and was moving down the street. Dru, riding Spike, and all the monsters followed it, like some demented parade of evil.

"Well, they're off, and good riddance," Cordelia said, as the parade disappeared down the street.

"Thank heavens!" Lady Buffy exclaimed.

"We should probably follow them and see what they're up to," Angel said.

"What part of 'stay here and protect Buffy and Cordy' didn't you understand?" Cordy asked.

"Yes!" Lady Buffy said. "You have your orders, sirrah," she said, sniffing at Angel.

"Xander's an impressionable young man," Angel said. "Dru could be a bad influence on him."

"Oh come on, he's an eyeball," Cordy said. "What's she going to do, give him an eyeful?" She snickered.

"You don't know Dru," Angel said worriedly. "She's…resourceful." He looked at Cordy. "She could get Xander into a lot of trouble," he said. Cordy sighed.

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"This is the shop?" Giles asked. Willow nodded.

"Right, Willow I want you to go back and join the others. I'll deal with this Ethan," Giles said. He stepped back and kicked the door open.

"Uh, okay," Willow said. "Are you sure you don't need any help?" Giles strode into the shop. "Okay then," Willow said. She turned and looked up the street. A reddish glow was approaching the corner. "Uh oh," she said. She looked into the shop, "Hey Giles, we've got company."

The Xander eye floated majestically down the street towards Ethan's. A vast parade of monsters followed it, capering madly about it and waving their arms at it. Drusilla rode the Spike toad at the Xander eye's side, whispering to the eye as it came. Willow stepped into the street.

"Hi Xander," she said brightly. "How's it going? Lookin' pretty cool with your monster posse and all."

Drusilla pointed at Ethan's. "That is the source of the magic, my dread lord," she said. "You see how well I serve you." She glared at Willow. "What is this red headed witch doing here? Plotting with your enemies I think!"

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Angel, Cordelia and Lady Buffy stumbled through the streets. "I fear for your young friend Xander," Lady Buffy said. "His transformation into a giant eyeball could be a sinister foreshadowing of some horrific future event."

"Oh, shut up," Cordelia said.

"There they are," Angel said, hurrying to catch up with the parade.

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The Xander eye shimmered and suddenly Xander was there, floating a foot above the ground. He was dressed as before but he seemed more handsome now, majestic in some strange way. On his finger, a plain gold ring engraved in fiery letters glowed. He floated forward and gestured to Willow. She found herself floating up into the air to meet him. He took her in his arms. She squeaked. "But I'm a ghost."

Xander smiled, "I am spirit too, but in this Age I may take a human form." He gazed deeply into her eyes. "Willow it is time. You must join me and become my dark bride, spirit to spirit in marriage, to rule at my side as my queen of air and darkness."

"This is all so sudden," Willow said. "We haven't even gone steady."

Drusilla stamped her feet angrily. "She can't be your dark queen," she said. "She isn't even a brunette!"

There was a crashing noise in the shop. A man ran out with a furtive look on his face, clutching a statuette. "Seize him!" Drusilla shouted. The small monsters swarmed over him.

Xander waved his hand and suddenly a second ring appeared in his palm. It was perfect spun gold with a large diamond set in the center that seemed to glow with some strange inner light. "Oh, it's lovely," Willow said her voice catching.

"Nice," Cordelia said. "That's three carats easy, perfect clarity, great color, and the gem looks flawless."

"Hey," Angel said. "You got all that? We're thirty feet away." He stared at Cordy. "You've got a good eye for jewelry," he said. Cordy ignored him.

"A lovely ring," Lady Buffy said. "And he wishes her to be his queen. He's of the nobility then?"

"I made it myself, for you my queen," Xander said smiling.

Giles staggered out of the shop and looked up at Willow. "Willow," he shouted, "don't accept any rings from the Dark Lord!"

"I read the books, Giles!" Willow snapped impatiently. "Oh Xan," she said, turning to Xander. "This is too fast. We need to slow things down here."

"You don't want the ring?" Xander said looking hurt.

"I didn't say that," Willow said. She cupped his hand and closed his fingers over the ring. "Just keep it for a while. It's a little too soon is all."

"She rejects his suite!" Lady Buffy said. "Oh the poor man, I must go and comfort him."

"I'm right there with ya," Cordy said.

"No!" shouted Drusilla, spurring Spike forward. "I shall be his dark queen!" She lunged for the ring.

"Hey, grabby!" Willow said, pushing Drusilla away. The dark haired vampire fell forward and into Ethan Rayne, knocking the statuette from his hand. It fell to the ground and shattered.

A wind blew over Sunnydale, and everyone changed.

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Buffy Summers looked up and realized she was standing in a crowd of crying children. "What in the world?" she asked.

Ethan Rayne looked up at Giles. "Ah Ripper. There's a funny story behind all of this. You'll laugh when you hear it."

"I'm sure I will," Giles said. He looked down at the dark haired vampire sitting on Rayne's lap. "Drusilla," he said. She looked up at him. "This man, Ethan," Giles pointed at Rayne, "he cast the spell. He's the one responsible for everything that happened tonight." Rayne squealed, scuttled out from beneath Drusilla and scurried into his shop. She watched him for a moment, then bared her fangs, hissed, and lunged after him.

Spike groaned and opened his eyes. He was himself again, no longer half-toad. Unfortunately, the transformation had shredded his pants. He looked up at a group of children staring at him with curious eyes. "Oh bugger," he groaned.

Angel was pushing towards Spike through the crowd of children. "Hey, bare bum boy, or is that toad boy," he called. "Ribbit," he said. Spike was closer to the edge of the crowd, made an obscene gesture at Angel and ran off into the darkness.

Xander Harris stood still, trying to process what had happened to him tonight. He looked at the cheap gold ring on his finger and took it off with a laugh. Then he opened the palm of his hand. What lay within glowed back at him with an inner light.

Willow walked down the street from where she'd found her body. "Hey, Xan," she said, her hands behind her back and leaning towards him coyly. "Whatcha got there?"

"It's a secret," he smiled at her.

"Friends share secrets," she smiled back.

"You'll find out soon enough," he said. "Now come here." He pulled her into his arms and kissed her. They stayed together for a moment and then slowly parted. "So," he said, "You have a date yet for the Thanksgiving Dance?"

She gave him a slow smile. "Not yet," she said. "But I was holding that date open for this boy I liked. I was hoping he'd get a clue."

"Forget about him," Xander said. "Go with me instead. Hey, I'm a personal friend of the Dark Lord of Mordor."

"Wow," Willow said. "How can I say no to that?" The two linked arms and snuggled, walking off into the night together.


End file.
